Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get mummy then?

Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to Newyork.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

Peter : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red pots!
Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.

Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy : "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?" "Sure," replied her lover "What's your phone number?"

A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honour, I'll have a scotch and soda."

'For twenty years my husband and I were very happy'
'What happened then?'
'We met.'

Customer : 'If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Brighton in two days' time?'
Post Master : 'Well it might do.'
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to London.

An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist. 'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.' 'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.

Girl : Do you love me ?
Boy : Yes Dear
Girl : Would you die for me ?
Boy : No, mine is undying love

1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.

Man : How old is your father ?
Boy : As old as me
Man : How can that be ?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born

Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How ?
Student : Ladies first.

Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.

Recently, a routine police patrol was parked outside a local neighborhood bar in Wisconsin. Late in the evening, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes with the officer quietly watching.

After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his own car which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally, he started his car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a dry night), flicked the hazard flasher on and off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as more patrons left in their vehicles.

At last he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the street. The police officer having patiently waited all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man consumed alcohol at all.

Dumbfounded, the office said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the man. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

Good Morning. Once upon a time.... There was a rich King who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to the finest of delicacies. He gave her nothing but the best. He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always showing her off to neighboring kingdoms. However, he feared that one day she would leave him for another. He also loved his 2nd wife. She was his confidante and was always kind, considerate and patient with him. Whenever the King faced a problem, he could confide in her to help him get through the difficult times. The King's 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her. One day, the King fell ill and he knew his time was short. He thought of his luxurious life and pondered, "I now have 4 wives with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone. Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I have loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word. Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into his heart. The sad King then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to remarry!" His heart sank and turned cold. He then asked the 2nd wife, "I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me? And keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." Her answer came like a bolt of thunder and the King was devastated. Then a voice called out: "I'll leave with you and follow you no matter where you go." The King looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the King said, "I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!" In Truth, we all have 4 wives in our lives ... Our 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die. Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, it will all go to others. Our 2nd wife is our friends. No matter how much they have been there for us, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave. And our 1st wife is our Parents , Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the ego. However, our Parents are the only thing that will follow us and guide wherever we go. So Love them at our best ..... They need and Love you most!!! You are their greatest gift Let them Smile and cherish...

Intuition decision making is an unconscious process created out of distilled experience. It doesn’t necessarily operate independently of rational analysis rather the two complement each other. And importantly, intuition can be a powerful force in decision making. For instance research on chess playing provides an excellent illustration of how intuition works.
Novice chess players and grand masters were shown an actual but unfamiliar chess game with about 25 pieces on the board. After 5 or 10 seconds, the pieces were removed and each was asked to reconstruct the pieces by position. On average, the grand master could put 23 or 24 pieces in their correct squares, while the novice was able to replace only 6. Then the exercise was changed. This time the pieces were placed randomly on the board. Again, the novice got only about 6 correct, but so did the grand master. The second exercise demonstrated that the grand master didn’t have any better memory than the novice. What the grand master did have was the ability, based on the experience of having played thousands of chess games, to recognize patterns and clusters of pieces that occur on chessboards in the course of games. Studies further show that Chess professionals can play 50 or more games simultaneously, in which decisions often must be made in only seconds, and exhibit only a moderately lower level of skill than when playing one game under tournament conditions, where decisions take half an hour or longer. The expert’s experience allows him or her to recognize the pattern in a situation and draw on previously learned information associated with that pattern to arrive at a decision choice quickly. The result is that the intuitive decision maker can decide rapidly based on what appears to be very limited information.
For most of the twentieth century, experts believed that the use of intuition by decision makers was irrational or ineffective. That’s no longer the case. There is growing recognition that rational analysis has been overemphasized and that, in certain instances relying on intuition can improve decision making.
When are people most likely to use intuitive decision making? Eight conditions have been identified (1) when a high level of uncertainty exists; (2) when there is little precedent to draw on; (3) when variables are less scientifically predictable; (4) when “facts” are limited; (5) when facts don’t clearly point he way; (6) when analytical data are of little use; (7) when there are several plausible alternative solutions from which to choose with good arguments for each; and (8) when time is limited and there is pressure to come up with the right decision.
Although intuitive decision making has gained respectability , don’t expect people – especially in North America, Great Britain, and other cultures in which rational analysis is the approved way of making decisions to readily acknowledge that they‘re using it. People with strong intuitive abilities don’t usually tell their colleagues how they reached their conclusions. And since rational analysis continues to be more socially desirable, intuitive ability is often disguised or hidden. As one top executive commented, sometimes one must dress up a gut decision in ‘data clothes’ to make it acceptable or palatable, but this fine tuning is usually after the fact of the decision.
The above has given various circumstances under which a decision has to be taken by experienced managers. Sometimes the combination of data does not fall under any particular sequence or logic. In that case a manager has to bank on his experience and functional knowledge to take a decision for giving a direction to his team. Such decisions are called decisions made through intuition. Some of the best examples of intuitive decision making are from the captains of Indian cricket team which made India win championship and trophies.

1. HOW TO LISTEN EFFECTIVELY?
   1. A good listener has to exercise mental discipline over himself. Only if you concentrate properly can you be a good listener.
   2. If you are attending a meeting, talk or lecture see to it that you arrive early so that you can settle yourself physically and compose yourself mentally before the speeches start.
   3. Do not allow yourself to be distracted by noises or other things like a pretty girl or handsome boy entering the room or the perfume of your neighbor. Do not distract the speaker yourself.
   4. Find an area of interest and listen for ideas.
   5. Avoid thinking too much about a point that has just been made by the speaker as this will prevent you from paying attention to the next. You can take notes and think about the matter later. Try to understand first, evaluate later.
   6. Keep on open mind and be patient.
   7. if you find that an informal talk or discussion has been going on for a very long time then do not hesitate to suggest a break so that the participants may refresh themselves and be able to concentrate better after the break.
   8. Avoid listening to several people at the same time. If your telephone rings in the middle of an important conversation do not interrupt the conversation but request the telephoning party to ring you up later.
   9. Show interest in the person who is talking to you by looking at him and by either nodding your head or by short encouraging A friendly and patient attitude helps you to get a real insight into the thoughts and feelings of the speaker. You could also restate the speaker’s feelings briefly.
   10. Do not contradict openly with words like “ I think you are wrong� as this discourages the speaker or forces him to use false insincere arguments.
   11. Listen to the feelings of the speaker and not only to his words.
   12. Make sure that there are no emotional barriers on your own side which prevent you from listening attentively. Do not interrupt, unless it is absolutely necessary. Do not be in a hurry to talk.

Newton in romantic mood

Universal Law Of Love: " Love Can Neither Be Created Nor Be Destroyed; Only It Can Transfer From One Girlfriend To Another Girlfriend With Some Loss Of Money

" First Law Of Love: " A Boy In Love With A Girl, Continue To Be In Love With Her And A Girl In Love With A Boy, Continue To Be In Love With Him, Until Or Unless Any External Agent (Brother Or Father Of The Gal) Comes Into Play And Break The Legs Of The Boy.

" Second Law Of Love: " The Rate Of Change Of Intensity Of Love Of A Girl Towards A Boy Is Directly Proportional To The Instantaneous Bank Balance Of The Boy And The Direction Of This Love Is Same To As Increment Or Decrement Of The Bank Balance.

" Third Law Of Love: " The Force Applied While Proposing A Girl By A Boy Is Equal And Opposite To The Force Applied By The Girl While Slapping".

Sari

1. There was once this guy who is very much in love with his girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to his girl.Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, hisfuture didn't seem too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualize any future for the both of them, so they went their own ways there and then...Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself.Finally with all the hard work and the help of friends, this guy hadset up his own company ...You never fail until you stop trying. One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walk ing to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were stilldrenched. It didn't take him long to realize they were his girl'sparents. With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted themto know that he wasn't the same any more; he had his own company, car,condo, etc. He made it! What he saw next confused him, the couple was walking towards a cemetery, and so he got out of his car andfollowed...and he saw his girl, a photograph of her smiling sweetly asever at him from her tombstone and he saw his paper cranes right beside her... Her parents saw him. He asked them why this had happened. Theyexplained, she did not leave for France at all. She was ill withcancer. She had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want to be his obstacle... therefore she had chosen to leave him. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you wa nt them to,doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. She had wantedher parents to put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again...he can take some of those back with him...Once you have loved, you will always love. For what's in your mind mayescape but what's in your heart will remain forever. The guy just wept...The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside her knowing you can't have her, see her or be with her ever again.........hope you understand.Find time to realize that there is one person who means so much to you, for you might wake up one morning losing that person who you thought meant nothing to you